 (0 comments) | Far AwayTake a picture of your octopus as far as possible from its registered addressSneezy takes public transportation!
Additional references: Rank: 19 out of 22 |
 (0 comments) | Famous FriendTake a picture of your octopus with a famous person. The more famous, the better.Steve Balzac is the founder of the MIT Assassins' Guild and the Society for Interactive Literature, two of the first live action roleplaying organizations. Also he's done some other stuff.
Additional references: Rank: 11 out of 19 |
 (0 comments) | Master of EightDemonstrate your mastery of Eightness.Rank: 12 out of 15 |
 (0 comments) | Altitude I(Flying Split) Take a picture of your Octopus at the highest possible altitude, while flying.This stunt kite makes scary whooshing noises when it dive bombs the crowd. Also, it was very exciting when a string broke and the kite wrapped itself around a flag pole. Perhaps duct taping an octopod to the stunt kite was outside of its safety parameters. Sneezy may have risen as high as 50 feet above sea level!
Additional references: Rank: 12 out of 13 |
 (0 comments) | FriendsFit as many registered octopodes as possible into the same picture. (The more the better.)Sneezy, Octavia, Oct, Kick, and Cephegerae
Rank: 8 out of 18 |
 (0 comments) | PedigreeDocument your octopus' suitability to be king.The Octopod of Allergen Doom on the Throne of the Robot Dinosaurs. Supporting images show dinosaurs paying homage.
Additional references: Rank: 9 out of 19 |
 (0 comments) | Hunting ProwessDemonstrate your octopus' hunting ability.Sneezy realizes the judge is unaware of the rigors of bread hunting; to that end he is submitting further documentation of the Hunt. The Hunt begins early in the spring, as Sneezy ventures into the prairie to seek out the elusive wheat grass. Once captured, Sneezy's burly sidekick subdues the wheat with ease. Later in the season, Sneezy herds timid milk and butter into the microwave oven in the first stage of the final Hunt. Then Sneezy searches the dark and fuzzy caves for eggs. Emerging from the depths of the mitten cave, Sneezy must now scale the heights of the tupperware cliffs! Avalanches are common here, but Sneezy perseveres, in search of the wily Wheat Farina and timid Vital Gluten. Once these arduous stages of the Hunt are completed, Sneezy waits patiently outside the lair of the Cream of Wheat Bread for hours, sometimes overnight!
Additional references: Rank: 12 out of 17 |
 (0 comments) | AddressTake a picture of your octopus with the largest house/building street number available.While visiting his rhinoceros friends, Sneezy spotted this lucky address number.
Rank: 15 out of 15 |
 (0 comments) | AquaticDemonstrate that your octopus is at home in an aquatic environment.Sneezy is at home on Crescent Beach, Mattapoisett with a tall, cool glass of lemonade!
Rank: 15 out of 20 |
 (0 comments) | EnnuiThe octopus most mired in ennuiThe Octopod of Allergen Doom enters Ennui! but what does it matter, anyway? it's just one more puerile contest in a world of foolish contests. The Octopod of Allergen Doom has lost the will to go on.
Rank: 8 out of 14 |
 (1 comment) | CostumeThe octopus with the best Halloween costumeSneezy has a very scary costume.
Rank: 1 out of 11 |
 (0 comments) | Altitude II(Ground Split) Take a picture of your octopus at rest (on the ground or on top of a structure), at the highest possible altitude.One of Sneezy's friends in Worchester took him to Green Hill Park. He thinks the top of the hill is almost 800 feet above sea level!
Additional references: Rank: 9 out of 17 |
 (1 comment) | CooperationMultiple octopodes cooperate together to accomplish something no single octopus could do alone!How many octopodes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 4.75.
Additional references: Rank: 1 out of 10 |
 (0 comments) | CamouflageOctopodes are masters of color-changing and camouflage to perfectly blend in with their backgrounds. Or maybe they just choose their backgrounds very carefully.If you look very closely at the upper left corner of this photo you may be able to spot Sneezy as he stealthily approaches his target -- the rare forsythia blossom!
Rank: 18 out of 18 |
 (0 comments) | StackThe tallest stack of octopodesOctavia, Sneezy, Oct, Kick, and Cephegerae
Rank: 8 out of 14 |
 (0 comments) | StackThe tallest stack of octopodesSneezy, Oct, and Kick in an aesthetically pleasing stack.
Rank: 11 out of 14 |
 (0 comments) | Scrabble I(Original Split) Photograph your octopus with a commercial sign with the highest-Scrabble-scoring word of eight letters or less. (Proper names ok. Scoring site here.)(21 points)
Rank: 16 out of 19 |
 (0 comments) | lolctopusBest lolctopus (see lolcat)is lolctopod has octopod mak cheeseburger sez "octopod" squeee! has first place bai
Rank: 5 out of 16 |
 (0 comments) | MazeBecause of their intelligence and flexibility, octopodes are very good at solving mazes.At the end of a long day, Sneezy relaxes by solving mazes.
Additional references: Rank: 9 out of 11 |
 (0 comments) | QueposkivingSend a picture of your octopus with the best example of a queposkySneezy presents this small but intricate example of a queposky for the judge's perusal.
Rank: 7 out of 10 |
 (0 comments) | Ballistic II(Death-defying split) Send your octopus on the longest possible ballistic trajectory. Clearly document the distances involved.Sneezy organized an Octopus Toss for his human-pet's 40th birthday. Several different tossing techniques were tried, culminating in Ian's 90' 5.5" toss; for this toss, Sneezy threaded his legs through the strings of a small racket. During this event Sneezy was imperilled by sand, seaweed, seashells, crabs, minnows, wild roses, and poison ivy.
Additional references: Rank: 4 out of 8 |
(0 comments) | Scrabble II(Strict Split) Photograph your octopus with a commercial sign with the highest *valid* Scrabble scoring word. (Scoring site here)(21 points)
Rank: 14 out of 19 |
 (0 comments) | EnteringDue to their squishability and flexibility, octopodes are very good at getting into small, hard-to-get-into places. Document your octopus in the best example of somewhere hard to get into.The judge didn't like the head-in-a-wineglass trick, and this is a much better photo anyway!
Rank: 13 out of 13 |
 (0 comments) | CookingDemonstrate your octopus's ability to feed a hungry family, or the multitudes!Sneezy has prepared a delicious salad to feed the multitudes! His tomato plants aren't yet large enough to contribute, but he did grow all the basil used in the salad. Sneezy is also cultivating oregano, dill, catnip, parsley and chives on his porch. Not shown are the grapes and orange mint in his "garden".
Additional references: Rank: 6 out of 8 |
 (0 comments) | PopularityDemonstrate your octopus's popularity by having its picture taken with the largest number of people giving it a thumbs-up.Nine thumbs up for Sneezy!
Rank: 5 out of 7 |
 (0 comments) | GoodOctopodes being Good, use their powers only for good and never for evil. Demonstrate your octopus using their powers for Good, to Oppose Evil.The Octopod of Allergen Doom brings joy to a little old lady on her ninety-ninth birthday.
Rank: 9 out of 10 |
 (2 comments) | FunWhile the quest for Kingship is difficult, octopodes should enjoy themselves. Show off your octopus having the most fun.In his free time, Sneezy takes digital photos of his human dolls as part of a game he's in.
Rank: 1 out of 10 |
 (0 comments) | Meta EssenceThe octopus with the most glamorous glamour photo.Rank: 30 out of 34 |
(0 comments) | Meta PowerThe octopus scoring zero in the most contests.Rank: 2 out of 34 |
 (0 comments) | Meta MiscellanySubmit your own contest name and description, and a picture of your octopus being the best in it.The Octopod of Allergen Doom proposes the contest "Pack Rat". To illustrate his superiority in this category he displays selected items from his collection: a gold diaper pin from 1968, a matchbox car from 1976, a monopoly house dating from the 1970's, a sparkly ball similar to one purchased in the mid-70's, a striped rock, six glass beads used to demonstrate conservation of momentum in a 1986 physics recitation section, assorted buttons from the late 80's and early 90's, a Tick pog from the early 90's, two go stones obtained in the mid-90's, and a eucalyptus seed with 5-fold reflective symmetry collected in June of 2006.
Rank: 8 out of 9 |
 (0 comments) | Meta LoyaltyIn order to campaign for the loyalty vote, submit the best campaign poster.The Octopod of Allergen Doom was greatly distressed to hear how his campaign poster traumatized the wise but frail judge. In keeping with his policy of kindness to all creatures, he has revised his entry.
Rank: 3 out of 3 |
(0 comments) | Meta FellowshipYour octopus's cultural diversity is measured with an arcane algorithm that rewards cooperation with octopodes who are less popular.Rank: 26 out of 34 |
 (0 comments) | NumismatismShow your octopus with the oldest legal coinSneezy has five Morgan dollar coins, minted in 1921.
Rank: 5 out of 9 |
 (0 comments) | ChandelierStatistically, in addition to sitting on heads, octopodes seem to like chandeliers. Send in a photo of your octopus with the Best Chandelier!Sneezy's friend Netherspite has a very nice chandelier.
Additional references: Rank: 8 out of 9 |
 (0 comments) | VertebrateOctopodes are honorary vertebrates in the UK! Send in a picture of your octopus making friends with the largest living vertebrate it can find.The Octopod of Allergen Doom has befriended a hefty vertebrate!
Rank: 7 out of 7 |
 (0 comments) | RainbowWhy are there so many songs about rainbows? Demonstrate your octopus's rainbow connections.Sneezy's connections to this rainbow flag are Purple Bungee Cords!
Rank: 1 out of 8 |
 (0 comments) | Poker MoneyShow your octopus with a serial number on a dollar that can make the highest poker hand.Sneezy understands that 0's are high in this game but is not sure whether a straight beats a full house. Here are his two best bills:
Straight: 6, 7, 8, 9, 0
Additional references: Rank: 6 out of 7 |
 (0 comments) | Egalitarian ThingySend in a photo of your octopus with the best thing. Bonus points for famous things.Now appraised of the tastes of this most discerning of judges, Sneezy submits this rapier to the Egalitarian Thingy contest. This replica of an antique rapier made in Solingen, Germany has a pierced blade, lending it lightness and flexibility. The sheath, shown nearby, is adjustable for use by swordspersons of smaller stature. The hilt protects the hands with its graceful curves while allowing cooling ventilation. The wire wrapping of the hilt ensures a secure grip, and the pommel weight is attractively styled. (Previous thingy in additional evidence)
Additional references: Rank: 3 out of 8 |
 (0 comments) | InkDemonstrate your octopus' proficiency with ink.Sometimes Sneezy makes his own wrapping paper using ink and rubber stamps.
Rank: 4 out of 4 |
 (1 comment) | DefenseSome octopodes seem to think that various entries by others have not been given enough credit. Your octopus may submit a Spirited Defense of another's entry which it thinks should have been higher, and this contest will give it another chance at points.Wise Judges, Fellow Octopodes, and Gentle Readers, I thank you for your kind attention to my Defense of Octobert's entry in the LOLctopus contest. Presented below are eight arguments in favor of raising the ranking of said entry.
Sincerly,
Sneezy
Rank: 1 out of 6 |
